flawed

Okay, real talk people.
I'm about to get deep and honest.

I'm a very type-A person.
I also am very much a 'thinker.'
Therefore, sometimes I struggle
with giving people grace or a break.
I tend to be hard on people and myself.
I see things as facts and don't like to
get emotion involved (they aren't facts).
I tend to withdraw and not show emotions
when I'm really upset. 'Suck it up' is my motto.
But I've learned that this isn't always the best -
for myself or the people around me.
And I can't expect others to do this either.

The quote below is how I've always approached life.
And in a way, that isn't always the best because
everyone needs a break and some grace.
(Yes, I know the quote can mean
boys but work with me people!)

However, God has been molding me
and teaching me to be more about grace,
and to listen, pause, and understand others.
It's a learning process and I'm nowhere
near being done with it. But I'm getting there.

In one of my education classes we've been
discussing how to manage and assess behavior.
A lot of time has been focused on who we are
because we need to understand ourselves first.
Most of class is spent in the Bible reading
and understanding God's calling as teachers.

I've been learning more and more about how
to handle children in a loving and supportive way.
But these same techniques can be applied to adults.
I've started to realize that sometimes I can really
jump on people and assume the worst in things.
I need to take a break and pray before I really
confront a situation that needs to be addressed.
I need to remember to not let my flesh get the best of me.
I need to rely on God more than anything in this area.

Today, I found myself praying and running for an hour
and then venting some stuff to a friend about a problem.
I found the run and prayer to be significantly more beneficial
than the time I spent venting my frustration - surprise surprise.
The next few months will be the hardest of my academic career.
I'm taking 21 credits, working two jobs, volunteering, and being a
daughter, sister, girlfriend, friend, and woman of God.
More than ever, I need to rely on God (and my runs- time with him).

God is showing me first hand that this is a weakness of mine.
He is also giving me the teachers, mentors, and tools to
help me in this area. I am spending time reading what He
has to say to me in the Bible and picking it a part.
I'm learning so much about who I am in God and it's amazing.

We all have flaws. That makes us human.
It's what makes the world go 'round.
I hope that God continues to work in all of you
like He is working in me and guiding me.