Why me?!

Hit play.

Then read.

It's a must!

"Why is this happening to me?!

I'm a good person, so why is God punishing me this way.
I don't deserve to suffer."

-every single person says this at some point.

I said it a lot my freshman year of college.
You see, my roommate situation wasn't the greatest.
I broke down so many times and tried to get out of it.
But everyone kept saying, "this is God's plan for you."
I didn't agree with it and still think it was some what of a cop out.
[Thankfully - when I look back on that year it doesn't take center stage.
And that is God because I remember everything. every.thing.]
I was so bitter at people in my school who let me suffer for 9 months
and stood by while I cried out for help and support.
I felt like nothing good was ever going to come from my experience.

The following summer I got a job with a special little boy.
He stole my heart in more ways than I can count.
However, it was the most challenging job I've ever had.
He really tested my patience in ways I didn't know possible.
My roommate had also tested my patience in crazy ways.
Before her, I was not a very patient person.
If I had not had that roommate freshman year,
there was no way that I would've had the patience to deal
with one of the most wonderful children I've ever met.
And he blessed my life in the most amazing ways.
God clearly used my roommate to prepare for this blessing.
However, the story doesn't end there....

The other day in my Bible class we were talking about suffering,
and how we are going to go through things in order to help others.
Read 2 Corinthians 1:4-7.

The other night on my ride back to school -

I finally understood what God had up his sleeve.

I gave a girl a tour around our campus last fall on a Saturday.
I happened to be available on that Saturday [usually I'm at home].
And I knew the second I met her we'd be friends.
We hung out with her family for a majority of the day,
and I prayed for her throughout the year.
The other week she came up to me and told me who she was.
Obviously I was thrilled she'd been lead to our school!
And she was close with a girl from my hometown area - perfect:)

So this past weekend the girls were staying in the area,
and I gave them a ride back to school.
We chit chatted and made small talk about school.
Then the girl I'd made such a connection with last fall
began to tell me all about her roommate situation.
It was like deja vu all over again for me.
She was basically repeating my freshman roommate experience.
All I could think was, "God you really used this for good."

So we talked and I helped her out with things to avoid
and do so that the situation could be resolved quickly.
Just having someone who went through it helped her a lot.
I still can't believe that my situation has been helpful to someone.

I reread 2 Corinthians 1 when I got back and was humbled.
God brought this passage into my life right when I needed it most.
He reminded me that He has a bigger and better plan.
He reminded me that when I am suffering, I need to turn to Him
He reminded me that He is going to use my suffering for His glory
and to help someone else down the road that needs encouragement.

He humbled me in reminding me the world isn't about me,
and it never has been about me. [why is that so hard to remember?!]
So why am I acting like it should be?!
It is all about God and His purpose.
That purpose is bigger and better than mine.
It's called: tough love.
And sometimes we need it.
But He is committed to being there and carrying us through it.
If you missed last week's thoughtful message: read it! [click.]
They go hand-in-hand with each other.

I want to encourage you to never question God's purpose for suffering.
No one is ever above suffering, and sometimes we need it to break us.
His plan might be revealed in pieces and it might take a while.
It took me 2 years to discover the ins and outs of God's plan
for my suffering during my freshman year.
And the epiphanies were incredibly different.
But the main point - He has one and will reveal it in time
Read the passage and don't miss the opportunities to help others!
There are a lot of people quietly suffering every day ...
Ask and listen. God might have something up His sleeve for you today:)