before you get the bling

There are lots of different opinions out there about what you should and shouldn't do before you get engaged. Here are my recommendations in order to have a smooth planning process but also a warning to avoid becoming the consumed bridezilla!

1. Talk. The proposal should be a surprise but the idea of spending the rest of your life with that person should not be a new idea. Discuss an ideal timeline so that you have a framework to start with once you get engaged. Planning ahead for the future is important but staying on the same page as your significant other is crucial.

2. Expectations. Start thinking about what is important to you and how you've always envisioned this day. You might think certain aspects aren't important to you but have you even thought about them? Do you see yourself getting married outside on a farm, in a church or on the beach? These are all potential and good ways to get married, but think about which one works for you as a couple. Set yourself up for success by knowing what you expect out of the day so that you can start painting the picture for others.

3. Dream. Look at ideas on Pinterest, in magazines, on Facebook, and even photography websites. Then let yourself dream and think of amazing ways to make your special day unique. This day should reflect you as a couple so think about what that will look like. At this point, the sky is the limit!

4. Priority list. Start thinking about what is important to you and what you want to spend your money on. Is the food more important than the dancing to you? Or is photography more important than the venue? Can you still the same wedding day feeling you want without doing a four-course meal? Making a priority list is the first way that you can start figuring out where to spend your time and money once you get engaged.

5. Chat. Chit chatting includes all of the above areas and provides a good gauge as to where you are in the pre-wedding planning category. Does pre-wedding planning exist for you or are you obsessed already? This is the time where you go out with your friends (most likely your female friends) and you chat about what you think the day will look like and how you want to feel.

But here is my warning: DO NOT participate in #5 frequently (aka: weekly or daily). Let other people bring up the conversation first. As a girl, I love asking my friends about their impending ring and wedding day. But if I have a friend who isn't engaged show me her wedding programs, I'm going to think she is crazy. Keep that stuff to yourself, ladies!

Now I'm going to assume that brides are reading this part...
DO NOT become one of those brides that plans the day of your dreams without thinking about your significant other. You want this day to reflect you as a couple, not just you as a bride. You shouldn't have the whole thing planned and then just insert the groom. We've all had those friends and been to those weddings where the event stinks of the bride and the groom is just an after thought. And that is all I remember from those weddings! I don't remember the dancing or the cake or what she wore. I remember that it felt like a one person show instead of a wedding. So stop and think about the other person. Talk to them! I know it sounds crazy but ask what he wants and what's important to him. A guest should be able to feel that the wedding is for both people.